Which of these 6 unconscious listening bloopers do you end up making?
Listening is the most important ingredient in any conversation, however, even if you know about various types of listening, some unconscious listening patterns can totally spoil the experience.
These 6 unconscious listening bloopers can be avoided by simply being aware of your own patterns.
Check out for yourselves, which one(s) do you end up making most of the times…
- Theory class effect! : Most of you must be aware of this (specially common in school days), giving false nods, even verbal ones, intact eye contact however mind is elsewhere! We end up doing this in meeting rooms, virtual world a lot. Do you agree? Be aware 🙂
- Find my hook : Listens to the speaker words to find out a hook from where he/she can start own story and steal the subject / topic! Example : O, that happened to me too once…, I remember when I was… Actually, I also went through this….
- Now you will see : Listens to the speaker, picks up the words, only to make a case against him/her. In other words, you listen carefully to create a rebuttal against the speaker’s own words. Example : You said “Put off”, that’s what you mean! That’s what you always meant, it proves your own intentions.
- What’s the logic? : There’s a lot of judgment happening in this kind of listening. One listens carefully to fit the content in his/her own frame of logic. If it doesn’t fit, the content is instantly discarded and a quick judgment is made. This judgment could be about the content as well as about the speaker.
- Agony Aunt : Listens to provide solutions. The moment the speaker starts sharing something, this person has an advice or solution to provide. The problem is that not every time the speaker is looking for an advice! Giving solutions and advice without being asked for it, hampers the listening process. It doesn’t help the speaker solve his own problems; It prohibits venting; It could also belittle the speaker by minimizing his concern with a quick solution. Advice given too quickly and at the wrong time is a turn off to the speaker.
- Interruption : When the listener interrupts the speaker too many times, debarring him/her to complete the message. These interruptions are not to understand things better, but these are primarily to speak what’s in your own mind (anxiety, questions, point of views, disagreements, agreements etc.). The hurry up syndrome makes the listener to start asking leading questions or stating assumptions, listener doesn’t allow pauses and tries to fill them with his/her own thoughts. This type of listening can completely ruin the direction and impact of the conversation.
Once you identify which blooper you yourself end up making, I’m sure you will be more conscious next time :-). Hope this helps. If it does, then share it with others too. Let’s help build a society where we have better listeners.
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