What will surely “Get You There?”

INTRODUCTION

Sometimes, even if you have all the skills, resources and plan in place, things go wrong! This happens, not once, not twice, but almost every freaking time you try.. Have you experienced it? If yes, then you must know this –

 “One of the biggest reasons we don’t achieve our goals & wishes, that too repeatedly, is because of our own embedded limiting beliefs “

This blog covers some extremely important aspects of our belief system, which if unlocked, can create an abundant life.

As the intent of Positive Lights is to move towards abundance, this blog includes few tips and techniques using which you can re-wire your brain by replacing limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs.

SOME FACTS ABOUT “BELIEFS” THAT YOU MUST KNOW

What is a Belief?

It’s a feeling of certainty about what something means. For example: Success is an outcome of hard work, Time is money, Marriage is a huge responsibility etc.

Where do these beliefs come from?

Most of our beliefs are generalizations about our past, based on our interpretations of painful and pleasurable experiences. These beliefs could have been created “Consciously or unconsciously”. Sometimes it’s the education of our parents, sometimes our interpretation of a situation. We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on.

Types of beliefs

Beliefs can be classified basis how they impact you. There are few beliefs that makes you feel stressed, heavy and sad. On the other hand, there are few that give you strength to move on or bounce back.

For me following beliefs really helped in life – I’m a strong resilient woman, I take challenges as an opportunity to shine more, Give your 100% in whatever you do else don’t do etc. etc.

However few that were counterproductive for me were – “Money never comes easily, you need to work hard for it!”,”Life is tough and full of tests and challenges”,  “If I’m laughing,I’ll have to cry harder in few days” etc.

How do our beliefs impact our life

The more we think about our beliefs, the more it gets engraved in us. We tag things right and wrong using our belief system. Our behaviors and actions naturally start aligning to those beliefs and we tag our self identity with them. So much so, that sometimes these beliefs start limiting us and sometimes these beliefs take us to a highest point in life.

I remember the time when I lost a loved one, months passed by, but there was no respite. Hurt wasn’t reducing, I wasn’t able to laugh. No matter how much I tried to laugh, it would always follow with tears afterwards. I didn’t know why! I was feeling frustrated and so were people around me. It was much later, when someone just asked me a direct question – “Is it that you believe that you can’t laugh as it is not right”,  or “how can you laugh when such a big loss has happened in your life?”

It disturbed me, I kept thinking and thinking about it. And what occurred to me after all this thinking was this STRANGE unconscious belief –

“Now on-wards, my life has ended, and I can never laugh. If I laugh and enjoy, people will think I am over it, and that’s not right!”

Half of my pain and hurt was gone by just this powerful realization about my own belief. After that, I worked consciously to get over it. I had to be OK with what happened, and that it was OK for me to be happy! I deserved a lot more happiness in life.

This is a clear example of “LIMITING BELIEF”. Few other common examples of limiting beliefs are given below: 

• “Life is tough and full of challenges”
• “I can’t tell the truth because I may get judged…”
• “I don’t want to get close to this person lest my heart gets broken…”
• “I don’t want to ask for what I want because, what if I get rejected?”
• “I can’t trust people because I’ve been betrayed before…”
• “I can’t pursue my dreams because I don’t know what I’d do if I fail…”
• “I can’t do X because of Y…”
• “I can’t do A because of B…”

If you identify with any of the above beliefs and feel stuck in life, you are the chosen one who’s meant to be reading this blog 🙂

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT THESE LIMITING BELIEFS?

• Validate if it is really a “Limiting Belief”
  • There is a question of whether limiting beliefs are actually good for us and whether they keep us from harm. In practice some beliefs which limit us are actually valid beliefs which are worth keeping. The problem is telling the difference. Limiting beliefs are erroneous, being based on wrong ‘facts’ and so prompt us to treat things with undue caution. Example : You should never trust anyone in business
• All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.
• The moment we begin to honestly question our beliefs and the experiences we assign to them, we no longer feel absolutely certain about them. This opens the door to replacing your old, dis-empowering beliefs with new beliefs that support you in the direction you want to go.Example:During a coaching session, I questioned one executive’s belief about not being comfortable to have a small talk with his global counterparts. After some thinking, he was stunned when it occurred to him that it was “because he had a belief that he shouldn’t be open to outsiders and in his work context his native colleagues were the family, while the global counterparts were outside family. Only this realization about the limiting belief changed his perspective and he has turned the tables at work now”.If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things other people are certain are impossible.
• Replace your limiting belief with an empowering belief. Few examples of empowering beliefs are mentioned below. You can also create your own empowering beliefs.
  • I am a power house! I attract success in everything I do
  • I always have time to do stuff that I really want
  • The past does not equal the future
  •  Everything happens for good, we might not know the reason then or ever after
  • I find great joy in little things… a smile… a flower… a sunrise…
  • I love freely because it is part of being human, with each heart-break I learnt how to strengthen my relationships in future
  • If I’m confused, something great is going to happen in my life and I’m about to learn something
  • All human beings are born prince/princesses, I respect all point of views and disagreements
  • I believe in taking immediate actions after the planning is done
• Energize and empower your beliefs each morning
  • Write your empowering beliefs somewhere and read every morning (by doing this you strengthen your neural pathways and finally it becomes permanent belief in 21 days of daily repeat)
  • Think about all the times when you were able to change your belief in the past, example – you believed that you could never drive a car, but you learnt and can drive now

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.” – Anthony Robbins